


Missing Something

by Ageha_Sakura, thisgirlsays22



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Mutual Pining, Reincarnation, tw: mentions of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 13:45:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13236984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ageha_Sakura/pseuds/Ageha_Sakura, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisgirlsays22/pseuds/thisgirlsays22
Summary: Eren and Levi long for the lives they left behind.





	Missing Something

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for [Ereri Writing Prompts](ereri-writing-prompts.tumblr.com)
> 
> Hiraeth: A homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was.
> 
> We now have [Art](https://omglevixeren.tumblr.com/post/173270822877/i-commissioned-this-piece-from-the-amazingly) for this fic! Aer commisioned a lovely piece drawn by [@sulkingmoon!](http://sulkingmoon.tumblr.com/) Thank you Aer! And thank you so much Kuro!

##  _Levi_

"Something's missing."  
It's the same words over and over.  
"Something's missing."

Every morning it's the same.  
The same view.  
The same streets.  
The same people.  
"Something's missing."

He doesn't remember when he first felt this way.  
But he remembers what it felt like.

Lighting.  
An electric charge of energy running through him.  
A cacophony of thoughts too far away,  
but too close by,  
to put any _real_ thought into.

His heart wouldn’t stop expanding.  
Crushed against the cage built around it.  
Trying to break free  
from a place only created to keep it safe.

“Something’s missing.”  
His friend would look at him curiously,  
“Nothing is missing Levi, it’s all here?”  
But they were wrong.  
They didn’t mean to be wrong,  
They didn’t know they were wrong,  
but they were wrong.

Even glancing at his friend was enough to stir something.

Something.  
“Something’s missing.”

Something?  
“Someone’s missing.”

That small change,  
it shook him to his core.  
“Someone.”  
It’s always been a someone.

But who?

Behind closed lids, he could see them.  
Or parts of them.  
Their smile,  
Their eyes.  
Never all of them.

But who?

Behind closed lids, he could feel them.  
All of them.  
Brief lingers,  
Bruising Kisses.  
Never forgetting a single moment  
And constantly missing every moment.

But who?

He needed them.  
He needed that feeling of water sliding down his skin.  
He needed that sound of laughter in a warm cottage.  
He needed that taste of a crawling kiss.  

But where?

Days passed,  
Weeks passed,  
Months passed,  
Years passed.

It only got worse.  
They were always just out of reach.

Nausea followed him.  
Numbing him.  
He couldn’t breathe.  
It suffocated him.

Levi swore one day he saw them in the corner of his eyes,  
Walking down a street.  
His friend would shove him and laugh,  
“Keep moving, let’s go!”

But something wasn’t right.

They were right there.  
Just out of reach.

This emptiness.  
This desire for something,  
For someone.

_Someone._

_Eren._

Was he really ever there at all?

 

##  _Eren_

The memories returned to Eren in dribs and drabs over the years, as though they were growing alongside him.  

He was fifteen the first time he remembered Levi. One night he bolted upright in bed expecting to see Levi staring at him through dungeon bars. But he was in his room, this life. Eren had felt loneliness before, but never slicing quite so deep. _Something’s missing._ He opened his window to let in the cool night air, to let out his frustration.

At twenty he remembered a stolen kiss hidden from view. Their hands and bodies were covered in muck and gore, but still Levi crushed Eren’s lips against his in a bruising kiss. That night when Levi took him apart, Eren had the strangest sensation that he’d never be alone again.  

The other world he dreamed of had been cruel, but even as the years crept on, he couldn’t shake his longing. Eren hungered for new memories, but he dreaded them too.

Every night he watched the city streets below him, watch the people go by, and he would think, _something’s missing._ With each new memory, his heart expanded, crushing itself against the cage that held it.

At twenty-one he remembered a cottage by the sea, evenings spent together on the beach.

“You better not get any sand in the house,” Levi warned.

“It’s my house too.” Eren smiled down at the waves kissing his feet. The sun was beginning to set, and the water shimmered shades of orange and pink. “Hey, should I dig up some of those sand-crab things again?”

“What? No. They’re disgusting.”

“You’re right. It wouldn’t be fair to them.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“I think it’s what you meant.”  

Eren watched as Levi finished his tea, and came to stand beside him.

“Oh no, we’re both going to bring sand back into the house now,” Eren said, pretending to be horrified.

Levi snorted. “Why do you think I have that barrel of water in front of the house?”

“Well, if we’re both going to have to wash off anyway…” Eren slid his hands down Levi’s sides. They were standing ankle-deep in the water, side by side.

“Not a fucking chance,” Levi had said, but he let Eren kiss him anyway.

Eren wished he could live that day just one more time. This life now didn’t belong to him. _Someone’s missing._ He felt as though he were watching everyone around him through a pane of glass. They must have noticed it too. Surely they could tell he was an imposter here, an intruder.

At twenty-five, the memories stopped. He dreamed of being in Levi’s arms, his hair being stroked, his body weak. As he took his last breath, Levi said softly, “Goodbye, Eren.”

When Eren awoke, he knew it was over; the last ties to the life he’d left behind were gone. Levi was gone. He wept into his hands. Sobs racked his body, violent waves crashing onto the shore.

Life went on. There was one day, though, that for a fleeting moment, Eren swore he saw him. The street was busy, and when he looked around - turning every which way, craning his neck to try to see above the crowd - he was gone.

“Eren? What are you doing? Hurry up,” Mikasa called from up ahead.

He cast one last fruitless look around, jostled by strangers moving past him. Something wasn’t right. He could have sworn...but Eren moved on his way. Levi hadn’t been there after all.

 


End file.
